Give Yourself Permission

So as I have been coaching clients I have realized more and more that we are not giving ourselves permission to rest, enjoy life or take a break. We are moving in a churn and burn society depleting all of the resources we have and then giving our personal selves such limited joy.

I coached a client the other day who came to me with what I call chaotic mind. She was desperately wanting me to give her permission to take 30 minutes a day to do nothing. Her “ to do list “ was running her life or should I say her thoughts, not her true self. All I could think about is why wouldn’t we give ourselves permission to take a break. Do we not feel worthy of a break? Do we not feel good enough? or Do we feel that if we do take a break and spend time doing what we want we may suddenly feel undeserving or feel guilty?

Why are we giving our energy away? Why do we need permission to allow ourselves time to enjoy the book we bought or just allow ourselves time to do nothing. The concept is fantastic. We all wait until vacation time to really give ourselves the time to wind down and relax. But what about the daily life we live? Are we keeping our daily life balanced by giving ourselves permission to enjoy our lives and take a break from the “ routine type “ efforts that can and will manage us if we are not careful.

Kathy Freston says it great in her book Quantum Wellness about " Balancing the Four R’s " regular, relate, rejuvenate and reach. I find as I coach ,that most people get stuck in the quadrant of Regular ( everything that is part of your everyday routine, set obligations) If you get stuck in this quadrant then you are fooled into thinking life is only about keeping your head above water. She also mentions most people are perfectionist who get stuck in the quadrant and live by a to do list and wake up in the middle of night panicked in what they forgot to do or didn’t do correctly. I myself have been this person before –Now I know if this happens to me then I am not balanced and need to reach for some fun or rejuvenate myself. She has a great reading on page 138 about the 4 quadrants of life.

I encourage you to look at your weeks and really figure out how often you want to give yourself permission to take 30 minutes or even an hour 2-3 times a week to do what you want to do. I find myself buying or making a great cup of coffee because that brings me great joy. I also like to stroll in an outside mall and just stroll. We all have responsibilities in our lives but I think the most important thing to remember is that they must NOT dictate who we are or overpower us.

I feel joy is found in some of the most simplistic moments…..like watching my dog sleep, being grateful for my life or listening to music really loud and singing. Those are some true joys for me that I give myself permission to do. We need to give ourselves permission to take a break and feel joy because it nurtures our soul and gives us positive energy.

What can you give yourself permission to do today?