Lean into life purpose rather than feeling lost

Jane wakes up out of bed, hits snooze too many times, goes through the motions of getting ready for work, feels herself dragging as usual and says to herself-“Is this all there is in life?” She never intended to feel so unmotivated but has somehow found herself wanting something different, more meaningful. 

If you have asked yourself this question and feel the way Jane does every day, you may need to consider a change. While change can be scary for many people, changing the way we do things each day is the only way to begin leading a purposeful life. 

Many people believe that life purpose is a project. That it is a hard thing to find in the noise of the world. In a way it is. The distraction of technology is endless, and not living the rat race can leave you feeling abnormal or unaccomplished.

If you wake up everyday and realize you have a hollow feeling inside that is not getting fulfilled from a relationship, job, your health or business, you may feel lost.  Let’s face it there is no big sign on the road that says “ Find your life purpose here,” otherwise I think there could be a longer line there than at Starbucks

       

           There is nothing more telling than that hollow or lost feeling inside, so welcome it in and allow it a voice. It is there to tell you to listen to who you really are and what you want. It is there to tell you to make that deeper connection and reach inside to that quiet place. That’s the place that you haven’t connected with in years, maybe decades. The good news is you are born with a purpose or a calling. No one can take it away from you and we all have the ability to connect with it. Consider it misplaced, not lost.   

Many people use the word “lost” because there is no direction; you walk into uncertainty and it feels like everything you define yourself by doesn’t make you happy anymore, or no longer feels meaningful. 

There are many positive ways to look at feeling disconnected from your life. It allows you to go on an adventure, relearn what you really like.

When you begin to look for your life purpose, lean into it rather than force yourself, because that will only lead you back into a hollow life. 

What do I mean by lean? 

Like my friend and mentor Martha Beck taught me, just start by noticing what makes you feel good; those heartfelt moments, what attracts you and where that comes from in that moment. 

Sometimes we would like this process to move quickly because we don’t like the way we feel when we go through such shaky grounds. Look at it as recreating a new foundation for yourself; like a blank canvas that needs new paint. Be kind to yourself and give yourself gentle nudges, rather than paying attention to the sergeant like voice in your head that says you are moving too slow. You will eventually build momentum to map out some directions for yourself, but first you have to start. 

Here are three steps to help you lean into life’s purpose.

1-Connect with simple joys 

There is no cookie cutter recipe to help you describe what a simple joy is for you.  You want to connect with what you consider pleasurable because it brings a sense of connection to your true self. 

When searching for purpose, we don’t realize a lot of that has to do with remembering what brings you happiness.  For me, it’s a great cup of coffee. For others it could be running. For some it’s a sunset or the beach, perhaps it’s free time for others, reading a book or never paying attention to the time. You get my drift. 

This is part of leaning into your true likes and pleasures and cutting out things or activities that inundate your daily life and have no meaning. So the key is to find activities, moments, and strategies that bring you some real joy. 

So how do you know if it is real joy? You will know it because you will feel it; that physical and emotional peace. This is a key exercise to consider because it is important to build a foundation of truth from your basic pleasures of life. 

This is a way to lean into life purpose. You are opening space to bring in the newness. 

2 - Use guided imagery to articulate your true purpose.

We all get hijacked by our left brain because that is the verbal section of our minds that wants to quickly label our next venture. So when we get out to discover a purposeful life, our left brain loves to jump in and begin labeling who we are and what’s next. 

To prevent this from happening use guided imagery because it is a creative process that triggers right brain activity. When you can’t articulate what you want your soul speaks through images. When we search for purpose we want to connect with our core self and allow our soul to guide us to a more purposeful life. Begin collecting images or words that you realize you are attracted to. You can use magazines, newspapers, and articles, whatever you feel attracted to cut out or stick on a board. Here is the key - no judging, censoring or editing yourself. This is a creative exercise, so allow yourself to free flow and have fun with it. The results will give you some guidance when you can’t articulate what you want. 

And take my advice - don’t get stuck on where each image should be pasted like I did. There are no rules. Just cut and glue. My recommendation is to collect images or words for 30 days and place them in a box, and then glue them on at one time. Once the images and words are glued onto the board, allow yourself an open mind to see the clues into what a purposeful life may look like for you. 

3 - Don’t chase it. It’s about meaning.

Like the coyote and the roadrunner - don’t waste your energy chasing it. Know what has meaning for you and only you. Don’t chase a meaningless life because that is what everyone else wants or because that is what you think you should want. Meaning is the substance to a purposeful life. It’s about what you think meaning is and learning how to identify what that is for you and how to determine the difference. 

Lost? Try this. Set aside a shelf, table or other space that can be just for you. Now start collecting photos or objects from your life that have had meaning to you in the past. Perhaps that includes your college diploma, your grandmothers jade ring that has been around for generations, or even an award or trophy from a childhood moment. 

While we can look for meaning outside ourselves, it can only be defined through your own definition or an experience. Knowing what has meaning for you is a great place to start. This gives you clarity into surrounding yourself with heartfelt things that are significant to you. 

Hopefully Jane will follow your lead and walk through the above steps so that she can realize what gives her a peaceful connection, as well as identify clues from her vision board on what purpose and meaning is for her. Leaning into a purposeful life is less stressful, and these small steps matter because you are consciously present through the process. When you gain clarity on meaning, purpose and what you really want, the mapping out of it becomes a lot easier. Pay attention in the beginning, be present, welcome the feeling of not knowing everything. Once you know, it is easy to align your purpose with people, activities, jobs, and things that matter to you. 

You will have paint on your canvas before you know it and it will be meaningful because you decided that for yourself when you were lost. 

Ned Rios is a certified life coach that empowers professionals to connect with their strengths and passions in order to maximize their true individual performance.

Whether you are a career professional, transitioning to your own business or already an entrepreneur, Ned’s intuitive approach and strategies can guide you to increase your work passion, get inspired and grow your business while maintaining a lifestyle that fits your value system.

Ned is a certified life coach, writer, speaker and workshop leader. She co-authored a book released in October 2009 called Changes of the Heart –Align your personal strengths to find your purpose.

Download her audio “8 ways to revive your career or business” for free at   HYPERLINK "http://www.nedrios.com" www.nedrios.com 

Do our life circumstances have power over our happiness?

A client and I were in a conversation a few weeks ago. Through our discussion she mentioned the stressful workplace situation and how that sometimes  
robs her from happiness and achievement. I explained to her that we have more control over things than we think.  
I mentioned the book I was reading called, Thrive by Dan Buettner  

In the book he mentions these stats on how we can control our happiness by professor of psychologist PH.D.,Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of  Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want. 

50% of individual difference is influenced by our genetic makeup (don't worry this can be changed)
40% is influenced by how we think and act everyday 
10 % life circumstances 

It was shocking to my client(s) that such a small % had to do with circumstance as it was for me when I read it.
Let's face it - we all like to turn and blame our life circumstance, for our misery or negativity. 

Examples: Not enough business, money, time, jobs, stressful workplace, poor management, bad economy etc

If our life circumstance has only 10% to do with happiness then we have a lot more control of our happiness than we think 

What would we do differently each day? Would that change the way we think and act each morning?  

So the question remains how can we remind ourselves during stressful situations that we have more control over our happiness than we realize and to notice our negative thinking as it occurs regardless of our circumstances.

Here are 2 solutions:  

Hit your RESET button 
1) Kind of like how we reboot our computers or reset our printers and start over - only we do this in a way that allows us to think and feel differently about our stressful situation.  
We all know it takes one situation that we consider bad to change the way we think and feel that can lead to a spiral motion of more negativity 
Reset how you feel about the situation and move on.


Solution 2 Change Mindset Another way to look at it is to consider a circumstance to be neither good nor bad  

·      Think of something that truly would makes you laugh out loud or smile about a past memory that brings you peace
·      Create awareness when you know it is happening  (stops disruption of thought patterns)
·      Think of a transition statement that would get you out of the negative mindset and into a different emotion that will change your mood, the energy or the situation for the better ie: this too shall pass, this is temporary, I have a plan to change things 
·      A thought that makes you feel better and allows you to make a small shift changes your energy and mood    


These are small ways to manage and control your feelings -if it still doesn’t work for you begin learning the habits of a person that you consider happy -that may guarantee you the principles so you can replicate. Another alternative is to turn to Brooke Castillo’s Self Coaching 101 where you can learn a thinking model that would guarantee you a better feeling state.

Bottom line: Hit the reset button, state the truth of the situation and decide how to move onward for your sake and your happiness 

And for the rest of us with the 50% genetic makeup -this doesn't mean your happiness levels cannot be changed.  You too can reset the "set points" to learn the habits of happy people. I believe happy people know hot to hit their reset button successfully.  

Remember everyone has a different definition of happiness –know yours for a successful turnout.  

Do life circumstance have control of our happiness?

Do our life circumstances have power over our happiness?

A client and I were in a conversation a few weeks ago. Through our discussion she mentioned the stressful workplace situation and how that sometimes  

robs her from happiness and achievement. I explained to her that we have more control over things than we think.  

I mentioned the book I was reading called, Thrive by Dan Buettner  

In the book he mentions these stats on how we can control our happiness by professor of psychologist PH.D.,Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of  Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want. 

50% of individual difference is influenced by our genetic makeup (don't worry this can be changed)

40% is influenced by how we think and act everyday 

10 % life circumstances 

It was shocking to my client(s) that such a small % had to do with circumstance as it was for me when I read it.

Let's face it - we all like to turn and blame our life circumstance, for our misery or negativity. 

Examples: Not enough business, money, time, jobs, stressful workplace, poor management, bad economy etc

If our life circumstance has only 10% to do with happiness then we have a lot more control of our happiness than we think 

What would we do differently each day? Would that change the way we think and act each morning?  

So the question remains how can we remind ourselves during stressful situations that we have more control over our happiness than we realize and to notice our negative thinking as it occurs regardless of our circumstances.

Here are 2 solutions:  

Hit your RESET button 

1) Kind of like how we reboot our computers or reset our printers and start over - only we do this in a way that allows us to think and feel differently about our stressful situation.  

We all know it takes one situation that we consider bad to change the way we think and feel that can lead to a spiral motion of more negativity 

Reset how you feel about the situation and move on.

Solution 2 Change Mindset Another way to look at it is to consider a circumstance to be neither good nor bad  

·      Think of something that truly would makes you laugh out loud or smile about a past memory that brings you peace

·      Create awareness when you know it is happening  (stops disruption of thought patterns)

·      Think of a transition statement that would get you out of the negative mindset and into a different emotion that will change your mood, the energy or the situation for the better ie: this too shall pass, this is temporary, I have a plan to change things 

·      A thought that makes you feel better and allows you to make a small shift changes your energy and mood    

These are small ways to manage and control your feelings -if it still doesn’t work for you begin learning the habits of a person that you consider happy -that may guarantee you the principles so you can replicate. Another alternative is to turn to Brooke Castillo’s Self Coaching 101 where you can learn a thinking model that would guarantee you a better feeling state.

Bottom line: Hit the reset button, state the truth of the situation and decide how to move onward for your sake and your happiness 

And for the rest of us with the 50% genetic makeup -this doesn't mean your happiness levels cannot be changed.  You too can reset the "set points" to learn the habits of happy people. I believe happy people know hot to hit their reset button successfully.  

Remember everyone has a different definition of happiness –know yours for a successful turnout.  

Can Foolishness Lead to better Marketing?

I recently saw an interview with Richard Branson. (link)

In the interview he was asked, “How do you become a great marketer?”
He said, “The way to do it is be willing to make a fool of yourself”

Ouch!
Are most people willing to do that? To stand tall and proud of what they want to share but make a fool out of themselves?

Looking back I remember my first presentation, first client I coached, first newsletter, new website etc. It was all in favor of sharing what I had to offer and growing my business. Now looking back I was out letting people know I existed. I guess you could say I was marketing through foolishness. I felt foolish at times. Not because I was hanging out of a plane with a banner of my services. But it felt foolish because I was presenting something new, programs I had created, a philosophy that I wanted to share with people that I believed in. It felt vulnerable.

Sometimes it may take foolishness to get out there and make something happen. Most of the time you are basically presenting yourself to others for the purpose of sharing your products or services to meet your customers needs.

Companies and people that do this well: Mattress Mack www.galleryfurntiure.com (for Houston peeps)
Southwest airlines www.southwestairlines.com

What do I think this can be translated into?

What do we need to do in order to get ourselves past the foolishness?
Here are some steps that I think will help you.

Step 1 Make a decision to be imperfect
We all know that practice makes perfect: sometimes it’s got to be done imperfect
before it can unfold to greatness: takes 10,000 hours to be a master at something

Step 2 Sometimes “Good is good enough”
Especially in the beginning or when it is something new –it’s human nature to want things to be great right out of the gate. But whether you are just starting off in your business or career it is important to focus on getting yourself into action by sharing what you have to offer. It doesn’t have to be in a big way but just be able to expose yourself, communicate your offerings and share what you got.


Step 3 Market through Authenticity and education
Be yourself. People know when you are not being authentic about what you are talking about. You will be surprised how this can effect your likeability factor: whether they buy from you or not–you still want to connect through authenticity and begin relationships. By doing this you get past foolishness and increase your ability to connect with people whether you market face-to-face or social media


Step 4 Just do it
The more we think about marketing we can become paralyzed.
We call it analysis paralysis. So think about something you do really well in your life. Take that same approach when it comes to marketing. It may feel uncomfortable or indifferent at first but I promise with perseverance you get past it and forget its marketing.

So if foolishness is part of the marketing process well these are ways to get past it.
You got this –I promise. Once you get past it –you will be glad you did it.

What can you do to market differently now? I invite you to share.

Weekly Question and Answer - Want vs. Need

Client's Question:

Hi Ned,

Right now I’m concerned that I’m trying to do much. There are some things that I WANT(i.e. prepare for a fitness competition, rest) to do for myself and there are things I feel I NEED to do for my business(enter email addresses, blog). I feel like I’m having a hard time balancing. Do you have any suggestions for how to cope with wanting to do EVERYTHING or taking time to focus?

Thanks,

Stacie
Healthy Diva
http://www.fit2befab.com

Dear Stacie - You have some great questions.

Trying to do everything
First and foremost when clients mention to me that they want more balance.
We must figure out where you are not achieving balance physically and emotionally.
If in your mind you have so many things you are trying to accomplish you will become very overwhelmed and achieve none of it. Physically if you are exhausted because you are doing so many things then getting rest will rejuvenate you.

Wether you need to rest for a weekend in your pj's do so. If you need to just start going to bed early then incorporate that into your daily activity.
You do not want to reach a place of burn out because you are trying to accomplish so many things. So if sleeping in over the weekend and laying around would do you some good. Do it. You will become much more rejuvenated and able to work on what you are trying to accomplish.

Number 2:
Anytime you are going through changing directions in your life/career it is so important to remain focused.

Here are 2 ways you can do that.

1) Choose what I call 3 Pillars of Priority
and write them down Example: yours may be broken down in these 3 areas below.

Pillar One
Fitness

Pillar two
My business
add email addresses
blog

Pillar 3
You

When you list out 3 priorities that are your pillars you are saying these are my areas of focus.
Now you can begin listing small tasks under each area.

In order to remain focused you want to take the area of your life that you are least satisfied with and start there. So if becoming balanced and rested is a priority then you know that is under Pillar 3 (you as the priority) and you know when you feel out of balances that is Non Negotiable time and it is the most important pillar for you. Everything else can wait.

2) Slow is the new fast
Slow and steady creates long term results.
So although you want to make changes to your current business by adding for example email addressees. Take it in strides -add people slowly, no need to feel like all that has to be done now and all at once. Super stressful - so when you find yourself in that spot -take small steps to action. Small steps are defined as small action steps that feel achievable and not exhausting.

Blog if you want to, blog if you feel like it, blog when you really have something to share NOT because you really feel you have to. That gives off such frustrating energy and feels forced -you want to do this when you are in a place of feeling good. Don't worry about forcing yourself to blog so many times a month that you get burnt out. You want a quality blog.
An example of a small step would be to create a list of things you enjoy talking about and write when you feel inspired. You will be coming from a totally different space and energy. Your clients and prospects that read your blog will feel the difference.

Client's Response:

Dear Ned:
I like the “slow is the new fast”. It reminds me that in a “right now” society that I don’t have to conform all the time. Also, that if I am going to be beneficial to myself or others that it is a MUST sometimes because our bodies and brains are like machines and they aren’t always in overdrive so we shouldn’t either; we need to re-fuel, let the mechanisms rest and cool down, give attention to maintenance or we risk a blow-out, breakdown. If I breakdown then I’m no good to anybody or to my aim/purpose.

Are you trying to be positive?

Are you "Trying" to be Positive?

I was watching a show last month and saw a guy mention that he was " trying to be positive " in a difficult situation. It got me thinking.

Are we always trying to be positive when we really don't feel like we can?

I just want to say - Please allow yourself to be in the emotion of what you may be going through. The key is to allow yourself not to stay there. If you are angry you can be. If you are thrilled about an opportunity that is great too. If you are insecure then be truthful about that as well. We as human beings get stuck when we don't allow our self to feel the emotions that we have and pretend like we are being positive. Positivity can always be invited in. But when you try too hard to be positive you almost push it away and place a thumb on what you are really feeling.

What to do if you find yourself "Trying to be Positive "

1) Allow yourself to feel emotions good or bad
2) If you catch yourself -" trying to be positive" Ask yourself what is it that you are afraid will happen -be honest with yourself.
3) Once you know the feeling you are avoiding, it is much easier to feel it then release it rather than avoid it
4) We get stuck when we stay in the negative emotion and then it spirals into more of what we don't want -so set a time frame of how long you will allow yourself to be in that place then commit to letting it go

Find ways to limit your complaining on something, limit the amount of time you will be sad or just naturally use practical principles like appreciation and gratitude to ease out of it. I really don't think there is such a thing as " Trying to be positive." When you struggle for positivity there is something inside you that isn't being true to what is happening.

So I have to ask - Are you Trying to be Positive?

Passion can be a few steps away

I have often wondered why people keep passion on the side line: arms distance away. Sometimes people know what makes them tick, really jolts their system into a natural excitement. But sometimes they prefer to keep it to the wayside.

Why I wonder?

Sometimes people think finding their passion is so difficult so they don’t even bother.
Sometimes people think they are not worthy of their passionate lives And sometimes they are moving towards it and then create a self sabotaging situation that stops them.

First let’s define passion I think everyone has a different definition My definition of passion is a connection to one self a feeling that gives you peace and love and comes from the heart; Websters: intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction.

Other definitions: Passion is love that drives you Passion is believing in something so much Passion is self expression in your life or career Passion is love for others Passion is purpose Passion a feeling state of love A feeling state of aliveness Passion is inspiration I am reading a book called “What’s personality got to do with it, “and Dr. Carol Ritberger says, "Passion is the element of our humanity that isn’t governed by the mind or reasoning but it is driven by the needs of the heart and body."

I love this because it explains how our brilliant minds could hold us hostage from attaining the needs of the heart. But as I wrote in my ebook and how Dr Carol states above: Passion lies in the heart. And so many times we place a thumb on what we really want or we just don’t know what it is that makes us feel alive. Like Martha Beck would say – Dream with your heart and use your mind as a tool to get it: Not the other way around.

You don’t have to be drastic about following your passion but you must be willing to make small attempts that matter if you really want it. So you can begin creating strategies that you think would bring you closer to a passionate life.

3 Clear ways to get started Start with these questions What would make you feel more passionate? What would give you the feeling of being connected to who you really are? What activities, people or things are you attracted to that you think could give you the feeling?

Brainstorm: Draw a picture of a funnel toss everything you think gives you that "hell yeah, oh yeah" feeling that makes you tick or feel connected to yourself. This is a non censoring non judging exercise. If you have a mental block begin this part when you are sitting in a board meeting bored and wondering what you are doing there – I find these are the best times to brainstorm.

Find strategies: Take one idea and create a strategy ( action oriented activity) that you feel is concrete enough to try: Through this process remember little things matter and small attempts count You are in the process of searching and discovering. Allow yourself permission to do that. For the overachieving people out there set a timeline for how long you will allow yourself to do this. This summer or commit to a future date – allows for a relaxed state of mind.

If you feel you are living a passionate life and have a passionate career great…. Do you have to have passion to be happy? My philosophy: You must always try to be connected to who you are otherwise you are not leading your life with authenticity; real life and real moments come from things , people, activities that give you meaning and fulfillment. Your source of happiness must come from things that you are passionate about in your heart.

What if you don’t know?

Allow yourself to travel the experience rather than figure it out before you start. Take the steps even if you don’t know why you are doing it. Follow your instinct - it is there for a reason. If you have gotten so far away from who you are and can’t find your inner guidance practice getting into a relaxed state of mind. Begin by gravitating towards things that make you feel good, that you are attracted to: keep it simple. A cup of coffee, a orange colored blouse, a trip to the book store to see what you are attracted to or a nice vacation. For more good starts download my ebook that really and truly will support your journey and give you clarity. I am not here to convince you to live a passionate life but I am here to give you the perspective of knowing – it’s never too late to feel good. Purpose follows passion: and living a purposeful life attracts a healthy long life.

Are you ready for the thrill ride? The ebook I wrote will help you get started or join my monthly free call this summer to get closer to your "hell yeah" feeling and aliveness. Or start with the 3 simple clear strategies above.

To peace, love and passion.

What I have learned from...

What I have learned from ordinary human beings..... People are less likely to: Feel worthy enough to get help To focus on self fullfillment People are more likely to stick to the same job rather than face emotions of change People will wait till there 80 percent miserable before seeking help or change Most people will talk themselves out of a life full of purpose People think time is their obstacle and it's really their friend People hide from who they truly are cause its safer Being who you really are can take a while but its worth it Not everyone stops to smell roses People hide in the busyness of life The ego is a huge emotional driver in peoples lives not their heart Rarely do people make career decisions with their heart Reinventing yourself isn't so rare Coaching is magical when you allow it When we realize we are worthy of a fulfilling life something changes inside of you....

How to Master Entrepreneurship and Motherhood

How do we become Masters and experts at something we want? Would you act or behave differently if you knew you had everything you needed to be successful but just needed practice?

So the story goes like this: I realize that through my experience being a new mom I have come to realize my confidence sways – sometimes I feel the motherly instinct and sometimes I am not sure what to do at all. So I dial my mother master to help with my challenge. Conversation goes like this: " Mom I can't get him to stop crying – well did you check his diaper? " Um no. I can’t get him to eat – Did you try to feed him in different places –bouncer, swing ? - um let me try and do that. " Ok basic stuff right. Then I get sick and she has to come and rescue me because I am not even sure I can care for myself much less my little baby. Well many of you may not know my mother but she is known to get things done. When it comes to babies she has this very matter of fact attitude, assertiveness and she oozes confidence.

What is it? I need what she has? Maybe it is hereditary but I’m not feeling it. I know this is me being impatient again. I want to be where she is now. Then I watch her : She feeds Alex - he eats all his food happily. He then sleeps without force. Then she makes me homemade chicken soup, after thoroughly cleaning my kitchen – all in less than 3 hours. This may have taken me all day.

As I observed her I can’t help but to think about energy and Law of Attraction LOA –she is confident, very matter of fact and naturally pleases Alex while nurturing him. I decide to start practicing this: First I dissolve my belief that I am not doing a good job then I will move onto:

1) Focus on my energy
2) Lean into my confidence without pressure
3) Allow myself to be imperfect and do a poor job

Why am I bringing this up? Are we taking this approach when it comes to building our businesses? Then I remember something Martha Beck wrote:

"Some psychologists believe that no one is born with any particular talent and that all skill is gained through practice. Studies have shown that masters are simply people who've practiced a skill intensely for 10,000 hours or more. That requires loving -- not liking, loving -- what you do. If you really want to excel, go where you're passionate enough to practice."

I admire my mother so much because she has practiced millions of hours being a mom for her three children and three grandchildren. More importantly she loves what she does because her passion lies in her family. Period. That is what makes her a master -loving what she does + 10,000 hours.

So as I continue to transition into being a mom I realize I have so many more hours to earn and to remember to do this with love. Not with comparison and not with force. Now I will also use this practice when it comes to growing my business as an entrepreneur. Being a master at creating a business is what I will practice and earn badges for – because I love it, it excites me, it challenges me. With all my heart - I will also enjoy mastering motherhood because of my love for Alex – one step at a time and not force myself into mastery without the practice.

And so now I must ask you. What are you forcing yourself to master without the practice?

Embracing 2011 with Inspiration and Truth

This year I sit and wonder what will 2011 look like for me. A bit overwhelmed considering I went through a huge life change this past year having my first child. Alex Rey is a beautiful blessing and an incredible gift. Now I am wondering how to make it all happen and continue to fulfill myself as a human being, as a new mom, a wife and my coaching business.

I didn’t want to start off thinking about goals from a marketing plan, business strategy or even thinking about success. I wanted to start off with simplicity. What will make me happy? What I want everyone to think about is how we can be authentically true to ourselves as we look out at the upcoming year. What I mean is do things only that matter to you, spend time working on things that matter, use your valuable time as if we knew when the end would come.

This year take a different approach to the goals

Inspired actions: only participate in activates that matter, from networking, to communicating and connecting with people that inspire you or make a difference: the type of inspiration you feel in your soul when you hear your favorite song. If it doesn’t feel energizing when you think it through, don’t do it. Below are definitions of inspiration from a few spectacular people. Add action to your inspiration and you will feel physically lighter and emotionally energized about your goals

Sheila Whittington: feeling inspired is when you WANT to do something because it feels good in your heart, not because you HAVE to do it.
Susan Oglesbee Hyatt: flow that moves you
Valerie LaPenta Steiger: some thing or some one that vibrates an energy that awakens an equal or greater energy within you. What inspires us is usually a reflection of our greatest self -- our light.
Elena Cuello Collins: Inspiration: Joanna Lange on YouTube. She was a piano teacher all her life. She is in her 80's, suffered a major stroke in 1990 losing the use of her right side but still continues to practice piano everyday for at least an hour. Amazing.

Be the authentic leader: this year by being true to who you are. Speak up even if it’s not the popular thing to do but matches up with your purpose: be the authentic leader and take the lead on things that make a difference: sometimes be neither right nor wrong: be the authentic leader even if it means being vulnerable

Some of you might be thinking yes that sounds good but is it possible? And to you I say living through your own inspiration and doing activities and tasks from an inspired place will always take you to your true path……

I watched 5 people get honored at the Kennedy Center for their contribution to this world:

Oprah using her voice for good on TV
Merle Haggard using his voice to connect to working class people with his music
Paul McCartney using his historical remarkable music to create joy and history
Jerry Herman for his creative writing and music with famous Broadway plays
Bill T Jones for his ability to speak through his talents as a choreographer and dancer

All 5 of these people set out to pursue their career with their talent and I can’t help but think how inspiration must have played a huge part in it all.

Instead of just looking at next year with goals I invite you to think about this:

What would you want to be honored for? What is your gift to this world? Are you capitalizing on your strengths? Are you using your talents? Do you live with passion? Do you begin projects from an inspired place rather than a “should “place?

Sometimes being able to answer these questions will help you in aligning goals with what is most important to you in the end. Start at the end of knowing what you would want to be honored for. Why not? If it helps you see things clearer.

The last thing I will leave you with is to remember not all things will be planned out perfectly. Things will happen that you don’t expect in 2011 in your life/ career. Know it is there to teach you something so allow yourself to evolve. When confusion sets in know that answers will come not by demand but by sometimes going back to simplicity: lean on inspiration, be authentic and sometimes surrender.

I believe that your life unfolds magically when you start by listening to your heart, following inspiration, and by using your gift to contribute to this world.

I will use my time this year knowing it’s valuable by placing happiness first, which means all that I do will be aligned by connecting me with: my family, my health, and continuing to inspire people to follow careers and businesses that match up with who they truly are. That is my contribution that I know will be a start to my year.

I ask that you begin allowing your inspiration in to embrace the year.

So I ask: What would you want to be honored for? Mine is to be dedicated to human beings that want to follow their purpose and to use my voice for good through inspiration by writing, speaking and coaching.

I invite you to share your comments here.