Do life circumstance have control of our happiness?

Do our life circumstances have power over our happiness?

A client and I were in a conversation a few weeks ago. Through our discussion she mentioned the stressful workplace situation and how that sometimes  

robs her from happiness and achievement. I explained to her that we have more control over things than we think.  

I mentioned the book I was reading called, Thrive by Dan Buettner  

In the book he mentions these stats on how we can control our happiness by professor of psychologist PH.D.,Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of  Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want. 

50% of individual difference is influenced by our genetic makeup (don't worry this can be changed)

40% is influenced by how we think and act everyday 

10 % life circumstances 

It was shocking to my client(s) that such a small % had to do with circumstance as it was for me when I read it.

Let's face it - we all like to turn and blame our life circumstance, for our misery or negativity. 

Examples: Not enough business, money, time, jobs, stressful workplace, poor management, bad economy etc

If our life circumstance has only 10% to do with happiness then we have a lot more control of our happiness than we think 

What would we do differently each day? Would that change the way we think and act each morning?  

So the question remains how can we remind ourselves during stressful situations that we have more control over our happiness than we realize and to notice our negative thinking as it occurs regardless of our circumstances.

Here are 2 solutions:  

Hit your RESET button 

1) Kind of like how we reboot our computers or reset our printers and start over - only we do this in a way that allows us to think and feel differently about our stressful situation.  

We all know it takes one situation that we consider bad to change the way we think and feel that can lead to a spiral motion of more negativity 

Reset how you feel about the situation and move on.

Solution 2 Change Mindset Another way to look at it is to consider a circumstance to be neither good nor bad  

·      Think of something that truly would makes you laugh out loud or smile about a past memory that brings you peace

·      Create awareness when you know it is happening  (stops disruption of thought patterns)

·      Think of a transition statement that would get you out of the negative mindset and into a different emotion that will change your mood, the energy or the situation for the better ie: this too shall pass, this is temporary, I have a plan to change things 

·      A thought that makes you feel better and allows you to make a small shift changes your energy and mood    

These are small ways to manage and control your feelings -if it still doesn’t work for you begin learning the habits of a person that you consider happy -that may guarantee you the principles so you can replicate. Another alternative is to turn to Brooke Castillo’s Self Coaching 101 where you can learn a thinking model that would guarantee you a better feeling state.

Bottom line: Hit the reset button, state the truth of the situation and decide how to move onward for your sake and your happiness 

And for the rest of us with the 50% genetic makeup -this doesn't mean your happiness levels cannot be changed.  You too can reset the "set points" to learn the habits of happy people. I believe happy people know hot to hit their reset button successfully.  

Remember everyone has a different definition of happiness –know yours for a successful turnout.