Jane wakes up out of bed, hits snooze too many times, goes through the motions of getting ready for work, feels herself dragging as usual and says to herself-“Is this all there is in life?” She never intended to feel so unmotivated but has somehow found herself wanting something different, more meaningful.
If you have asked yourself this question and feel the way Jane does every day, you may need to consider a change. While change can be scary for many people, changing the way we do things each day is the only way to begin leading a purposeful life.
Many people believe that life purpose is a project. That it is a hard thing to find in the noise of the world. In a way it is. The distraction of technology is endless, and not living the rat race can leave you feeling abnormal or unaccomplished.
If you wake up everyday and realize you have a hollow feeling inside that is not getting fulfilled from a relationship, job, your health or business, you may feel lost. Let’s face it there is no big sign on the road that says “ Find your life purpose here,” otherwise I think there could be a longer line there than at Starbucks
There is nothing more telling than that hollow or lost feeling inside, so welcome it in and allow it a voice. It is there to tell you to listen to who you really are and what you want. It is there to tell you to make that deeper connection and reach inside to that quiet place. That’s the place that you haven’t connected with in years, maybe decades. The good news is you are born with a purpose or a calling. No one can take it away from you and we all have the ability to connect with it. Consider it misplaced, not lost.
Many people use the word “lost” because there is no direction; you walk into uncertainty and it feels like everything you define yourself by doesn’t make you happy anymore, or no longer feels meaningful.
There are many positive ways to look at feeling disconnected from your life. It allows you to go on an adventure, relearn what you really like.
When you begin to look for your life purpose, lean into it rather than force yourself, because that will only lead you back into a hollow life.
What do I mean by lean?
Like my friend and mentor Martha Beck taught me, just start by noticing what makes you feel good; those heartfelt moments, what attracts you and where that comes from in that moment.
Sometimes we would like this process to move quickly because we don’t like the way we feel when we go through such shaky grounds. Look at it as recreating a new foundation for yourself; like a blank canvas that needs new paint. Be kind to yourself and give yourself gentle nudges, rather than paying attention to the sergeant like voice in your head that says you are moving too slow. You will eventually build momentum to map out some directions for yourself, but first you have to start.
Here are three steps to help you lean into life’s purpose.
1-Connect with simple joys
There is no cookie cutter recipe to help you describe what a simple joy is for you. You want to connect with what you consider pleasurable because it brings a sense of connection to your true self.
When searching for purpose, we don’t realize a lot of that has to do with remembering what brings you happiness. For me, it’s a great cup of coffee. For others it could be running. For some it’s a sunset or the beach, perhaps it’s free time for others, reading a book or never paying attention to the time. You get my drift.
This is part of leaning into your true likes and pleasures and cutting out things or activities that inundate your daily life and have no meaning. So the key is to find activities, moments, and strategies that bring you some real joy.
So how do you know if it is real joy? You will know it because you will feel it; that physical and emotional peace. This is a key exercise to consider because it is important to build a foundation of truth from your basic pleasures of life.
This is a way to lean into life purpose. You are opening space to bring in the newness.
2 - Use guided imagery to articulate your true purpose.
We all get hijacked by our left brain because that is the verbal section of our minds that wants to quickly label our next venture. So when we get out to discover a purposeful life, our left brain loves to jump in and begin labeling who we are and what’s next.
To prevent this from happening use guided imagery because it is a creative process that triggers right brain activity. When you can’t articulate what you want your soul speaks through images. When we search for purpose we want to connect with our core self and allow our soul to guide us to a more purposeful life. Begin collecting images or words that you realize you are attracted to. You can use magazines, newspapers, and articles, whatever you feel attracted to cut out or stick on a board. Here is the key - no judging, censoring or editing yourself. This is a creative exercise, so allow yourself to free flow and have fun with it. The results will give you some guidance when you can’t articulate what you want.
And take my advice - don’t get stuck on where each image should be pasted like I did. There are no rules. Just cut and glue. My recommendation is to collect images or words for 30 days and place them in a box, and then glue them on at one time. Once the images and words are glued onto the board, allow yourself an open mind to see the clues into what a purposeful life may look like for you.
3 - Don’t chase it. It’s about meaning.
Like the coyote and the roadrunner - don’t waste your energy chasing it. Know what has meaning for you and only you. Don’t chase a meaningless life because that is what everyone else wants or because that is what you think you should want. Meaning is the substance to a purposeful life. It’s about what you think meaning is and learning how to identify what that is for you and how to determine the difference.
Lost? Try this. Set aside a shelf, table or other space that can be just for you. Now start collecting photos or objects from your life that have had meaning to you in the past. Perhaps that includes your college diploma, your grandmothers jade ring that has been around for generations, or even an award or trophy from a childhood moment.
While we can look for meaning outside ourselves, it can only be defined through your own definition or an experience. Knowing what has meaning for you is a great place to start. This gives you clarity into surrounding yourself with heartfelt things that are significant to you.
Hopefully Jane will follow your lead and walk through the above steps so that she can realize what gives her a peaceful connection, as well as identify clues from her vision board on what purpose and meaning is for her. Leaning into a purposeful life is less stressful, and these small steps matter because you are consciously present through the process. When you gain clarity on meaning, purpose and what you really want, the mapping out of it becomes a lot easier. Pay attention in the beginning, be present, welcome the feeling of not knowing everything. Once you know, it is easy to align your purpose with people, activities, jobs, and things that matter to you.
You will have paint on your canvas before you know it and it will be meaningful because you decided that for yourself when you were lost.
Ned Rios is a certified life coach that empowers professionals to connect with their strengths and passions in order to maximize their true individual performance.
Whether you are a career professional, transitioning to your own business or already an entrepreneur, Ned’s intuitive approach and strategies can guide you to increase your work passion, get inspired and grow your business while maintaining a lifestyle that fits your value system.
Ned is a certified life coach, writer, speaker and workshop leader. She co-authored a book released in October 2009 called Changes of the Heart –Align your personal strengths to find your purpose.
Download her audio “8 ways to revive your career or business” for free at HYPERLINK "http://www.nedrios.com" www.nedrios.com
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